Letter to Madyson on Her 14th Birthday

collageTo my sweet Madyson,

As i begin to type this, i don’t comprehend how it can be 14 years since i held you for the first time. Today, 14 years ago, you made me a mother for the first time. As you have become older, you and I have shared many talks about how we had a bit of a rough start. But you also know despite any rough start we had as a duo, you have been such an inspiration and blessing from the moment you took your first breath. I remember holding you for the first time and hoping that I would not let you down, praying that I would make you proud as your mother. I looked forward to the life I had ahead as your mother… my heart swelled with an immense amount of love, a little bit of fear and an immeasurable amount of hope.

I remember bringing you home and fumbling my way through learning how to be a mother. Most of it comes naturally, but don’t let anyone fool you sweetheart, there was still a lot for this young mother to learn.

From day one you have been strong willed. Whether it’s been crying until I would come get you and cuddle you up in bed with me, using your sweet personality to talk me into going somewhere or buying something, or now as a 14 year old just turning on that charm you have to make this mother go weak in the knees. Did you know you could do that? Turn your mother to mush by just smiling or giving me a squeeze? Well you do!

I wish i could bottle up your light…yes your light! You have always been such a loving, kindhearted, compassionate and helpful kiddo. From the minute these characteristics were noticeable you have never been afraid to hide this side of you. I love that about you. I love that you always stay true to who you are. You aren’t afraid to cry in front of others or stand up for what you want. You are a gem my sweet girl…an absolute gem! The tears fall as i write these words knowing that these 14 years have flown by with such speed… when they say “don’t blink” while raising children, they really mean it! In 2 short years you will be driving and in 4 short  years you will heading off to college.

As you turn 14, if i could give you any bit of advice I would tell you this:

You will make mistakes. Don’t let those mistakes define you. Learn the lesson that was intended, brush yourself off and move forward.

Laugh often..laugh as often as you can. Life is full of hardships and things that may bring you down. Never pass up the opportunity for a laugh. Have fun and laugh hard!

You are entering high school this fall…remember that mean girls are just that. They are mean. Never, ever let that deter you. You are strong, willful, and kind. When someone is mean to you, don’t return that with more hate. Show your strong, willful and kind self…Lead by example!

Be yourself. God made you who you are sweetheart. Don’t ever aim to be like someone else. Embrace who you are …because that is beautiful! Be confident and always carry yourself with a smile.

Most importantly, please know that I will always be by your side. A mother’s love never waivers. Mine never will. It’s impossible to put into words the love i have for you. It can’t be measured or described. I will always love you, support you and be there to pick you up when you fall. You have my promise!

I am certain in the years ahead, we may not always see eye to eye. Despite any disagreements, my love will always remain. I’m sure at some point voices will be raised, doors will be slammed and tears will fall. It’s all part of the journey for both you and I. Regardless, i wouldn’t change it for anything…because at the end of the day I have you as my daughter. You really are the beat of my heart big girl. So lucky to have been chosen as your mother.

I love you with every part of who I am. Happy 14th Birthday my sweet girl… to many years ahead!

Love you to the moon and back…

Your mama!

This entry was posted in Big Kid.

The Adventures (some Mis) of Raising a Teenage Daughter :)

I knew this day would come. The day that the phrase “the teenage years” really started to make sense to me. Now I will start by saying that we do have a pretty awesome and well-behaved 14 year old daughter. She’s a good kid! She participates in numerous school activities and maintains honor roll. However, the day’s of the teenage ‘tude have arrived. The days of door slamming, tears, teenage PMS, ridiculous arguments followed by more hugs and more tears have made their delightful way here.

For us, the year of being 13 has been pretty smooth. The changes were expected. I felt i was somewhat prepared even. Once she hit 13 her love of music became very prevalent. When we are in the car now she controls the radio, and most often the songs played are pop and hip hop. Mady will sit in the seat and sing every single word right along with them. Even the ones i can’t understand. I can sit upstairs in the living room and here her downstairs in her bedroom belting out the tunes to all the latest ballads. She loves music! I can handle a little music for the years ahead…hell i even like most of what she listens to.

However, music is just a blip on the teenage radar. There are bigger fish to fry especially for teenage girls. Has anyone ever confided in you how much fun teenage PMS is?? That’s because they’d be lying. I’ve learned that PMS is real folks, it exists. And it’s far worse in teenage girls than it is in 30-something women like myself. (My husband may disagree, but what does he know about PMS! Pssh!) I mean i knew the day would come…but seriously!

Just a couple days ago we were all up and getting ready for the day. The usual rush around the house get everyone clothed, fed, and out the door routine. My daughter strolls  upstairs in her yoga pants and t-shirt. I say “Is that what you plan to wear to school?’ I get (with a sigh) “Yes, mom! It’s ISAT (state testing) week at school and i want to be comfortable.” All my eyes are focused on is the fact that i can see her blue undies through her pink yoga pants, panty lines and all. The yoga pants are tight on her booty and I’m not a fan. So, i tell her to go downstairs and change her panties to some that may not be so noticeable. She is pissed obviously that she has to do this (the hair flip and eye roll gave it away), BUT she does it and comes back upstairs.

I’m standing in the kitchen eating my breakfast and she strolls past me. Again, my eyes target in on her booty. I see her underwear line still and the yoga pants are JUST TOO TIGHT! So i tell Mady that I’m sorry but she can’t wear them to school and she needs to change. Yes folks, that’s all i said. The dramatic sigh, “UGH, and “What, MOM! I don’t have any others to wear!” may have said otherwise. But that’s truly all i said. Following her clearly aggravated statement, i said “What about the black ones with the sequined waste your wore last night?’” I get “Seriously mom, I just wore those last night? They are DIRTY!” Now this is where i can’t help but to laugh out loud! Oh but touche’ my sweet teenage daughter! Dirt didn’t stop you from getting out the Magcon T-shirt out of the DIRTY CLOTHES PILE and wearing to school last week. Oh no…didn’t deter her one bit! But, how dare i suggest she wear the same yoga pants she wore around the house for a few hours the night before. How dare I do such a thing?! What kind of mom am i? I mean really??

Let me just tell you this folks, the days of my daughter thinking i was funny are over! What used to be funny is now just completely embarrassing. No more acting silly together. She’s too cool for that. She is a social butterfly and loves to hang out with her “BFF”. The last 3 shopping days (mom and daughter days), she declined to hang with her BFF. I am now chopped liver status.

Heck, it wasn’t THAT awful long ago she’d still crawl in my bed and watch TV with me. Not anymore. I can’t say i blame her though. She has some pretty awesome friends and she makes good decisions. If only we can overcome the teenage ‘tude we’d be doing great!

Now, i joke about the teen ‘tude we are experiencing these days, but i consider myself lucky. We do have a great girl. Despite these adolescent “hiccups”, we have a very well-rounded and loving daughter. The attitude, impatience and such just go along with the territory right now. I will continue to remind myself of the phrase “This too shall pass”. One day it will have passed and she will be an adult and on her own and I will be wishing for a slice of this time back. So i press forward and take it in stride. The moments that cause us grief and anxiety now are the ones we tend to look back on with lessons learned and fond memories of much later.

To all the other parents of teenagers out there….I wish you all the best of luck! Hang in there, never give up, and always remind your teen (even at their most un-lovable moment), how much you love them. Things will be forgotten years down the road, because they are just things. The love you gave your kids will not be!

This entry was posted in Big Kid.

Boys will be boys…

As a mother of only boys, this phrase is my life and has new found meaning daily. My two year old son would give the average person a heart attack every five minutes base on his dare devil attempt at everything. Like trying to sit upside down, pretending the ground is made of bouncing tiles, wrestling every and any one…etc. Then you add to that the high level of energy, a reluctance to hear and desire to find the game in everything and you have the recipe for the average boy!

But boys are suppose to make you want to draw out your hair and lose you voice (all of which have happened to me on multiple occasions) as anything less and they will be girls. Boys are suppose to be rough and tough while finding a way at all times to tug at her heart strings. So what do you do with boys? You let them be because you could shout all you want, beat all you want, punish all you want…boys will be boys. They will turn your world upside down, send you to the emergency rooms and get you old before you know it!

Here are some tips:

  1. Ensure for the most part that the home is child proof (not 100% guaranteed especially if you have a boy…lol)
  2. Get dark furniture ( this goes for all children…but boys will run outside in the mud and then run inside and jump up and down in your sofa!)
  3. Use a carpet in front of all sofa or beds (this will ease the fall because they will jump from the sofa and the beds, its just a matter of when!)
  4. Dress them in jeans or a long pants when outside playing (boys tend to run more and climb more, hence they fall more. This will reduce the amount of bo bo you will have to kiss later)
  5. Get a medical kit full of band aids (funny enough I have never had to use them because my child is made of steel!)
  6. Allow the fun, but observe from a comfortable distance (once no immediate harm will come to them don’t say “no”, “stop” it will only make them do it more! Just observe!)

They say God takes care of fools and children and this is so true! I once told a parent who was concerned for me raising Adam, that my silent wish is that he makes it to 5 without breaking a bone! so far so good!